Splendid Jugs at the centre of the Earth
Splendid jugs, a fantastic journey
Here we find ourselves in an otherworldly landscape. All due to the splendid efforts of Professor Dmitri Anatolie Kentaroff, (He is a Russian fellow, don’t you know?) Thanks to his fabulous invention of the Petra-funicular. This machination, of which I, myself, have solely financed the creation of out of my not inconsiderable family fortune. Once again, we have been able to spread further evangelising of the finer things to the world. Of course, I refer to Splendid Jugs. I must say the professor is a lovely chap (for a foreigner) even though he didn’t attend Eaton! (I can’t pronounce the name of the educational establishment where he received his first-class education).
Jugs taken for the ride of their life
This most discombobulating of technical contraptions allows the Petra-nauts to traverse, the before uncharted paths of the underground realm to the interior of our own planet. The contraption, though ingenious, is a dreadful bone shaker. The number of times that my maid Mollie had her jugs ferociously shaken. It is a wonder they didn’t crack, or be destroyed completely. Not to mention the number of times my monocle fell out of my eye socket is also not really up for discussion.
Imagine our surprise to come upon these savage heathen creatures (known to us only as the mole men). The mole men know nothing about the most important matters in life: of King and country. Though they do have a surprisingly critical eye for some of the finer things of modern British life. I am of course referring to the splendid jugs that we brought on to this expedition. Had Molly been born to a wealthier family (and of course not been of the gentler sex), she could have had a fine career in diplomacy. She very quickly built bridges with the locals.
Of course, it wasn’t long after our initial diplomatic forays that we all partook in some refreshing and delicious Oolong tea, served with two lumps of sugar. All delicately lowered with my family’s crested silver sugar tongs. Finally, the tea was creamed by Molly’s magnificent milkers, (her own, personal nickname for the two splendid jugs of milk that she always carries along for such occasions). One jug is ordinary milk while the other jug is full-cream milk. If this adventure seems out of context to you, perhaps you should return to our home where you can read up on the goals, passions and peccadillos of our fascinating site.